Helping Children Cope With Dementia
Although the vast majority of people with dementia are elderly, in many cases there are young children and adolescents in the household or close by who are strongly affected by the illness of someone they love. It could be their grandparent who is affected by the disease or, in early-onset cases, their own parent. At a time when they are trying to cope with their own growing up, they find they also have to cope with a family member who is ill.
COMMUNICATING FEELINGS
The most important thing you can do to help your children or grandchildren cope with dementia is to be willing to listen and communicate. They need the opportunity to ask questions and express their feelings without fear of repercussion or rejection. A non-judgmental atmosphere will help them to become more comfortable with discussions of the painful changes taking place in their lives.
Remember, young children may not be able to take in too much information at one time - keep it simple and try to respond to their questions at their own level.
Adolescents are often good at expressing themselves and their feelings, but don't be surprised if they do not initiate discussion. Watch for clues in their behaviour that something is on their mind and then try to talk openly. Some young people may have problems talking with parents because they don't want to worry them or are afraid of making them sad or being a burden. They may prefer to talk to their peers or to counsellors.
Young people will react differently depending upon their age and stage of development and on how important the person with dementia is in their lives and how often they interact with that person.
QUESTIONS CHILDREN MAY ASK:
EMOTIONS YOUNG PEOPLE MAY FEEL:
sadness
overwhelming sense of responsibility
resentment
unwillingness to take responsibility
helplessness
despair and hopelessness
jealousytension / stress
denial
frustration
anger
guilt
fear
embarrassment.
BEHAVIOURS CHILDREN MAY EXHIBIT:
SOME GENERAL GUIDELINES:
Take care of yourself so that your child does not think that you might get sick, too.